Achieving our New Year’s Goals

goal3As we know, the New Year’s wish list is, like our Father Christmas’ letter, full of hope. We also know that hope alone is, usually, not enough to achieve our goals. Once we are back to the day to day routine it is very easy to let the list fly away, postponing it to tomorrow (or next year..)

Then, what could you do to achieve your goals?

As a Coach, I suggest to you to be honest with yourself. To question, one by one, all your good intentions:

  1. Why do I want to achieve______? (Fill the gap with each of your goals)
  2. Which one of the following words fits better with______? (Fill the gap with each of your goals)
    1. I have to…
    2. I want to…
    3. I wish to…
    4. I commit to…
    5. I am convinced to…
    6. I am decided to…

If you have chosen one of the last three, Congratulations! Move to next step and write down your Action Plan.

If you have chosen one of the first three, you have two options:

  1. Review the above questions and reframe your goal.
  2. Try to achieve it anyway. In this case, you should know that COMMITMENT is one of the two fundamental ingredients to achieve anything you want to.

Get your Action Plan ready.

To get your Action Plan ready ask yourself the following question and make a list.

What am I going to do to achieve______? (Fill the gap with each of your goals)

  1. ____________
  2. ____________
  3. ____________

Do you need some more help?

Right, imagine that our goal is to lose some weight.

We commit to achieve it, even more, we are absolutely DECIDED to lose some pounds… so:

  • We have joined a gym
  • We have started to eat healthier
  • We have decided to drink two litres of water per day.

Great! Is that all you need to define your Action Plan?

Well, except if, for you, to lose weight is something you can do naturally I suggest you to go deeply into your Action Plan.

Some the questions we could answer would be:

  • What activity will I practice in the gym?
  • When am I going?
  • How am I going to organize my day to day in order to cook and eat healthier?
  • Where am I carrying my bottle of water?

Any other question that help us to get fully organized would be perfect…

…because here is when we meet the second fundamental element to achieve our goal. TIME.

To go with our action plan we need to organize our day to day tasks. Otherwise, we will end saying something like, I can’t do it, I don’t have time.

This is the final step:

  • Include all your activities in a list
  • Make some room for the new ones, you have 168 hours per week!!

It is all about COMMITMENT and TIME. 

Commit to achieve it, find the right time to organize yourself and GO FOR IT!


To know more about how to achieve your goals, ask for your Discovery Session here.

Believe in yourself!

Have you ever felt as if you were less worth it than someone else?

Have you ever felt as if your opinion was not as interesting as other people´s?

Have you ever created your own judgement, even about yourself, based on other people considerations?

Many of us have felt that way sometimes. I have had those feelings sometimes. That is why I am writing this post, because I know how it feels and because I worked on myself to change that perspective and believe in myself.

It took me time to understand, and believe, that creating my own value based on other´s opinion was a mistake but, once I understood it, I was able to change the whole perspective.

 What to do to believe in yourself?

In my experience, there are four main “rules”:

  • Acceptance In order to believe in yourself, you have to accept yourself. Completely as you are. With all the things you like and those you dislike to get the best of your opportunities (or create new ones)
  • Take care of yourself.  Take care of your mind, body and soul. Treat yourself with love, respect and care. Do something meaningful that reminds you how worth it you are (I used to buy flowers).  Some other things to do>
    • eat healthy
    • practise exercise
    • chat with friends
    • laugh
    • enjoy your extraordinary moments
    • appreciate little things
    • be grateful
  • Trust in yourself. You have an enormous potential inside, empower all your best qualities to continuing learning and trusting in yourself. If you do not trust in yourself who is going to do it?
  • Stop overestimating other people opinions. We all can give our opinion of everything but they are just that, opinions based on our perspective of life. Moreover, some people opinions are really negative and destructive, they do not intend to help or support other people and on the contrary, they just want to hurt. On the other side, some people are supportive and their opinions help us to grow and improve themselves.         I think it is important to ignore the negative critics and to listen to the constructive ones but never overestimate any of them.  Create your own opinion.

Accept yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself. You are worth it.Believe_in_your_self

Change thoughts, change results

During the last few weeks, I have been preparing a workshop about taking care of our thoughts to make chage in our life.

I am convinced that many times what really matters is the way we live a situation, our attitude to face it and how we are telling the story. Based on previous posts it is obvious that I am interested in change management and the individual ability for personal transformation, so I had to start with myself!

Few days ago, I was feeling quite lazy, not doing much instead of working and justifying my attitude with excuses such as not feeling 100%, the weather, cloudy that day, or how tired I am at this time of the year… excuses as I have just said. However, for good, I was thinking about how to transform thoughts to get different results. So I wonder, what is going on with me? Where does this attitude come from? What thoughts are validating my action/attitude?

Right there I took pen and paper and wrote down and linked my thoughts and actions. The answer came soon. I was postponing my tasks because of two reasons, the lack of urgency and being plenty of time before the next project delivery. Great, I got the answer but, obviously, that couldn´t finish there. Cleary, that attitude was not worth it for me at all. I was not enjoying the feeling of not doing much, quite necessary sometimes but not then, so I continued with my exercise.

The next step was to change my thoughts “There is not urgency” and “I have plenty of time” for “I have plenty of time and I going to use it for my best”.

That simple mind change made me feel the power I have to lead my life, to transform that lazy moment in something worth it.

At that moment, I felt myself free like the bird in the picture.


So, how did the story continue? I got up from the couch and I enjoyed the afternoon doing a few things I was postponing.

Since then I have been feeling much more energized. Therefore, because I know it works, I would like to invite you to try this exercise. The only thing you have to do is to dedicate some time to yourself, take pen and paper and face that thought and attitude that are not being worth it for you so far.

 Everybody has an enormous ability to change.

Thank you for reading this post and share.

Thoughts and believes create emotions, then attitudes, and based on those ones we react. If you do not like the result you get, change it! And remember, start with your thoughts.

Note: with this post I don´t mean that everything can be changed but that we part of the our story

If you would like to work in a personal change process, contact me here

Leéme en castellano

Improving communication

Active listening is a topic that, personally, I find really interesting. It is the principal foundation upon which quality communication is created.

Maybe it is because, wrongly or not, I consider that communication without active listening is just a monologue.

My reflection to this topic is based, indeed, on two elements, how we communicate (active listening) and what we communicate (quality messages)

Active listening requires paying attention and honest curiosity about what the other person wants to say. Because of that it is important to be aware of their verbal and non-verbal communication, getting the most of their words and behaviour and, sometimes, leaving our own messages aside.

Likewise, we could use active listening to know whether or not our listener is interested in our conversation. In my opinion, when receiving signs of disinterest it is better to postpone the conversation, find out the reasons, or even to understand that that person is not the appropriate listener for our message.

In relation to quality, I think that it is important to be aware of what we say, I insist, both verbally and non-verbally, why we need to express that message and what we are giving to who is receiving. To me, this is important in order to improve quality in our conversations. Thinking of whether or not what you have to say is relevant for the receptor, thinking about why you need to express yourself. And finally consider that at times quantity and quality do not go together.

For all the above I suggest to look up this exercise:

Next time you are part of a conversation pay attention to what is said, both verbally and non-verbally. When the conversation finishes answer these questions:

  • What were you receiving?
  • What was the message about?
  • What was that person transmitting to you?
  • What were you transmitting?

Pay attention to your own mind:

  • Were you really listening or you were thinking of what you were saying next?
  • Were you interested in the story? Did you ask questions?
  • Were you looking forward to finishing the conversation? In that case, what were you giving?

Look at the overall scene:

  • Was it a real conversation or a bilateral monologue?
  • How was the quality of the conversation?
  • If this is important for you, how could you improve a conversation next time?

With a little bit of awareness we could really improve our communication and the conversation we are part of.

Would you like to work on your communication skills? Contact me here

Do you want to change your life? Act!

One of the first steps in a coaching process is to establish an Action Plan to support the client in achieving their goal.This step is essential because, in order to generate change, we need to act in the right direction. Otherwise we will move in a wrong way that will bring us where we do not want to be.

We usually think that not-to-do it is the same as not-to-act.

Curiously, it is the opposite because we are perpetuating and making stronger the situation we are not happy about. We are moving away from our happiness.

Usually, this kind of action comes supported by the idea that we cannot change, we are as we are and there is nothing we can do about it.

It is interesting, isn´t it? It is to me. It is curious that we do not allow ourselves to have the power to change but we allow ourselves to have the power of keeping a situation we dislike.

So if we dislike the situation, why not to create something we can feel more satisfied with? And ultimately, if we cannot do much about it, what about creating a new perspective?

If you are reading this and thinking, “Yeah, well, I cannot change, this is me.” Let me ask you something:

  • Can you not or do you not want to change?

Many times we do not change not because we can´t but because, even if we are not aware of it, we are quite comfortable in our comfort zone and change requires us to be brave and make efforts.

We will need to be brave and strong to reflect about ourselves and to find out how, honestly, we want to live. To learn and do things in a different way. Also to face all the things that are holding us back. To move  away from what is familiar and, maybe sometimes, to feel lost and afraid.

Overall, we will need to be brave to enjoy all the marvellous things and new experiences we could have when expanding our comfort zone.

Based on all the above I invite you to reflect

  • What do you want to change?
  • What do you have to do to move into action?
  • What do you need to make your change real?
  • What is blocking you?
  • What could you win and lose?
  • What new experiences could you have?

In case you decide not to change:

  • What situation are you accepting?
  • How can you transform the perspective?
  • What will be the new perspective of this situation?
  • How will you feel living the situation from a different point of view?
  • Are you still accepting the situation or do you want to change it?

All these questions would start a really interesting conversation. Feel free to leave comments or be in contact with me here.

Life is movement, it is action, so flowithelife!


Léeme en Castellanolife is movement

Improving relationships in different contexts

Improving relationships in different contexts has been, since some years ago, a challenge for many people, both in their personal and professional lives.

A good start point to approach this issue is to think about the richness of diversity, understanding that “the map is not the territory” and different perspectives can enrich and expand our vision.

It is important to build up relations from a non-judgmental perspective and honest curiosity, leaving our ego and own perspectives aside to fill up with new experiences.

Once we have considered other points of view it is basic to establish what we have in common, where both can coexist, understand each other and grow. This requires a bilateral effort and, hence, communication plays a key role.

The second element to bear in mind is differences.

What can we do when we do not share perspectives and do not find a common framework?

This is a difficult question that depends on the situation and environment where it comes up. In any case, it will be necessary to create a framework of coexistence and, maybe, a structure of non-partnership where we can delegate the issues to manage to other people. This framework could be created through negotiation and concessions when it is a personal/familiar matter or through global policies and local practices when it relates to professional/company issues.

It is also probable that we will have to face difficult situations, that are really hard to sort out but, the use of empathy, respect and our personal flexibility in different environments and to different people will be on benefit.

I suggest you to develop self-awareness to know what kind of environments and people enrich us most and which ones require more attention. This awareness will guide us and will support us in managing the most difficult situations.

Ultimately, we are talking about improving relationships not matter the culture/contexts we are from.

Including knowledge about the history, origins and the reasons for different behaviors to our personal/social skills will give us an advantage for understanding.


Storytelling and Coaching

Telling stories has been a common practice to transmit values, behaviours, experiences and dreams.

In coaching, using stories to support a client is a successful tool, both in group coaching and individual coaching. Through stories it is possible to give a clue, give insight, new perspectives and, overall, to invite the client to reflect.

As in a coaching process, stories have an introduction, a body and an end. They imply action and movement and we could even reflect about different scenarios based on different behaviours.

Stories aim to send a message.

From the other side of the coin, stories tell about someone doing something in someplace and it is then that Coaching takes place. Emotional Intelligence and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) have also a lot to do here.

Each of us has a story to live, a story to tell. Being aware of this is being aware of the fact that our story depends on us, our behaviours and our decisions.

We write every second, minute and day of it, step by step, in the only place where they can be created, in the present.

Nevertheless, past and future are also important scenarios in our storytelling.

Past because it is about how we understand our experiences in life, what kind of vocabulary we use to describe them, how we manage our learnings and what is still blocking us in the present.

Future is about our dreams, where and how we want to be in “some time” now. It has a direct impact on our present.

For the last few months I have been exploring the art of telling stories and applying it to my life and coaching. In fact, storytelling is part of flowithelife to empower the coaching process and support clients both by telling stories and creating our own coaching process mural. Go to flowithelife storytelling to find out more.

This experience has been very good so far and I am really grateful to the storytellers I have found in my life.

So, what is next?

It is your turn, think about your story, tell your story!


Friendship and Coaching

FriendshipIt is said that a good friend is the best treasure we can have and, also, that the more we share with friends the less we need a therapist. What a truth!

Living in the era of technology where it is so easy to add new people to your social network list of “friends”, to have a good FRIEND is really valuable.

In my opinion, it is easy to have a lot of mates, but friends, FRIENDS, I count just a few.

I know this depends on the definition of friendship you have, so it could vary but, anyway, what a pleasure to enjoy time with the people we trust in and vice versa!

To me a good friendship has some characteristics in common with the relationship between Coach and Coachee. In both cases, personal and professional relationships, active listening, not judgement, being respectful and total trust are essential behaviours. Usually a good friend is able to understand our differences and perspectives so they can listen and share without trying to change our mind even if they give us their opinions.

They support us and encourage us to achieve our own goals and happiness and overall to flow with life. They also know when to be close and when to give space, without judgment, letting us grow.

Indeed, our behaviour with them is similar; supporting, acknowledging, listening and questioning our perspectives to allow us to grow.

This is also the Coach’s attitude. This is, in my opinion, the source of riches in a Coaching process.

Reframing Perspectives. More than one option.

Changing and reframing perspectives are important tools in coaching, and I would say in life.

It helps to consider different possibilities for any situation we deal with. It supports us to move forward, to get unstuck, to flow.

What is this about?

Simple, it is just about considering other points of view for a situation, so we can reframe it.

I like to use the metaphor of the forest to explain the “Reframing” tool.

First of all, close your eyes, breathe deeply and relax yourself.

Now, imagine you are in a forest. What do you see from where you are?

You may see big trees and squirrels. Perhaps your forest is reflecting beautiful green lights.

What would you see if you turn back? Would you see the same perspective of the forest that you saw before?

Maybe, when turning back you could see little bushes, some flowers and even a deer.

What are the differences? Are you seeing the image of a forest in both cases?

You will agree with me that yes, although the two images are not the same, you are seeing a forest in both cases, but your perspective of the forest is simply different. None of them is better than the other, but both are complementary, both can be useful and both can leave us stuck in a situation we need to reconsider.

Moreover, if we ask the same questions to another person, I am sure that they could imagine a different forest. They might get different information from the same perspective and realize details that we are not conscious of, at the same time we are realizing things they are not conscious of.

Now apply this learning to a real situation, especially those ones you are stuck in..

Can you consider a different point of view?

Can you reframe your perspective?

If so and it is helping you, congratulations!

On the contrary, if you feel stuck and you need some help to reframe a perspective, what if you click here and ask for our coaching sessions, you could find the flow you need in flowithelife.

Expand your world, reframe your perspective, there is always more than one point of view.